Sexual success with girls is a numbers sport. There isn’t a getting round this except your identify is George Clooney. (Man, it’s going to be sooooo enjoyable when he will get divorced… Gotta anticipate Jay Z to get divorced first although.)
I’ve seen lots of guys execute the numbers sport incorrectly and from a number of completely different angles. However earlier than I get into what guys do improper, I’ll clarify what you ought to do.
The correct numbers sport means you’re doing the next 4 issues:
1. You’re contacting / opening numerous girls. With night time sport and daygame which means you’re opening large numbers of girls, properly into the a whole lot. With on-line relationship which means you’re doing 1000’s of swipes and/or a whole lot of openers. With social circle sport which means you might be continuously assembly new girls by means of your social circle which you might be actively increasing on a regular basis (slightly than simply attempting to have intercourse with these two or three cute women you occur to know).
2. You’re placing in these numbers over an extended time frame. You don’t simply hit it laborious for 3 months, then get laid or get a girlfriend after which cease. That’s not placing within the numbers.
3. You’re really monitoring your actions and outcomes, at the very least to a point.
4. You’re continuously modifying your strategy and methods to optimize your outcomes, slightly than simply doing the identical precise factor time and again (except doing the identical factor time and again is getting you to quick intercourse with a good variety of enticing girls, and is doing so on a constant and dependable foundation, however that is unlikely to be the case except you’ve been at this for a few years).
In the event you’re not doing all 4 of this stuff, you’re doing it improper. It means that you’re not going to get the long-term outcomes that you really want. Your outcomes will both be crappy, or they are going to be good however solely good sporadically.
This doesn’t imply it’s essential put within the numbers like this endlessly. Finally, in case you’re doing all 4 of these issues, your lady life can be in a spot the place placing in an enormous quantity of numbers will now not be required. I put in an assload of numbers for a few years. As we speak, my lady life, on a scale from one to 10, is an eleven, and I by no means have to put in a excessive diploma of numbers. At the least not at this time.
I’ll use my favourite Brian Tracy instance of the pilot. So as to get a aircraft off the bottom, it’s essential push it to 100% full throttle. It is advisable maintain it there till you attain cruising altitude. When you get there, one thing attention-grabbing occurs: you may throttle again to simply 5%, and the aircraft retains flying. You’re flying excessive on simply 5% of the trouble that it took to get you there.
That’s how relationship abilities work. A whole lot of guys push the throttle to 80% or 90%, hit it laborious, however by no means get off the bottom as a result of they’re not keen to go to 100%. After a time at 80-90%, they complain that relationship is simply too laborious, or that ladies are bitches, or that it’s hopeless as a result of their SMV is simply too low, and simply cease having intercourse or simply accept an average-looking monogamous girlfriend.
Let’s keep away from that. Let’s get you off the bottom so you may finally throttle again to five% and nonetheless be getting laid, with enticing girls, just about everytime you need. It’s an excellent place to be.
The Issues Guys Do Flawed
Listed below are the methods through which guys don’t put within the numbers, or do it incorrectly.
The primary group are guys who simply… don’t put within the numbers. A few of these guys are scared. Some are low-testosterone betas. Some guys are simply lazy.
Different guys on this group get approach too choosy and attempt to discover their Good Unicorn Lady and don’t hassle with another girls. That’s not placing within the numbers, and that’s not the trail to success.
The subsequent group are guys who do put within the numbers and do it properly. However they burn themselves out and finally cease. But once more, the symptom for that is both an extended dry spell or a monogamous girlfriend (who is just not your supreme). Both approach, you’re settling, and settling gained’t make you cheerful within the long-term.
I see this with lots of guys within the PUA world. “Dry spells,” going months with out having any intercourse, is widespread for these guys. Then they finally can’t stand it, get again on the market, get laid for some time, then have one other dry spell.
Learn my lips: I’ve not gone with out intercourse for longer than 32 days at any time within the final 12 years. I don’t have dry spells. My whole FB / MLTR / OLTR mannequin protects me from these, however I additionally put within the numbers.
There have been solely two instances I went precisely 32 days with out intercourse within the final 12 years. One was approach again in 2009 when a big snow storm paralyzed my whole metropolis and I used to be actually trapped in my home for over per week. Then it was Christmas season, which is a useless zone for girls.
The second time was after I went on a month-long journey to Asia and Australia. I used to be so excited I didn’t hassle with getting laid however I did as quickly as I acquired dwelling. (I’ve had intercourse in Asia a number of instances, simply not on that specific journey.)
The subsequent group are guys who put within the numbers and maintain at it, however they don’t observe something. In the event you ask them how properly they’re doing, they actually don’t know. They could get laid or they won’t. In the event you ask them what number of openers or dates it takes them to truly have intercourse with a brand new lady, they do not know. They simply guess.
As I continuously speak about with my enterprise recommendation, what will get measured will get improved. What doesn’t get measured often by no means improves except you’re fortunate, and you’ll’t emulate luck. A good way to spin your wheels for years on finish with none actual enchancment is to by no means observe what you’re doing.
That being stated, I’ve seen guys go to the opposite excessive. They change into spreadsheet nerds and observe the fuck out of actually all the things. A few of these guys have proven me their knowledge and it’s hilarious. Pages and pages of every kind of numbers and stats, like their second date ratio with girls who’ve black hair (sure, I’m severe). These guys spend extra time on their god rattling spreadsheets than they really do out on the planet with actual girls.
Please don’t try this. You simply want to trace some primary numbers, similar to:
- Openers (or contact closes) to dates ratio
- First dates to intercourse ratio
- Second dates to intercourse ratio
- How lengthy it takes, by way of face time, to get to intercourse with a brand new lady on common
You may observe just a few different issues in order for you, however these are the large ones.
The final class are guys who put within the numbers, work very laborious, observe all the things, however by no means change what they’re doing.
I bear in mind one man on the pick-up boards just a few years in the past particularly. He determined to get actually good with daygame, and made a dedication to be an strategy machine all through the whole summer time. He spent 4 months opening girls nearly day by day and tracked all the things religiously.
I neglect his precise numbers, however he made one thing like 9,000 approaches… and solely acquired to intercourse as soon as, early on within the course of. He laid out precisely what he did and requested for recommendation.
He labored laborious, which was nice. Hell, that’s greater than the overwhelming majority of males studying these phrases will do. He tracked his numbers, which as additionally good. However the man did the very same factor 9,000 instances over. Not as soon as did it happen to him that he may be doing one thing improper or ineffective, and that he would possibly want to alter what he was doing primarily based on the shitty outcomes he was getting.
Nope, he simply plowed on, repeatedly doing one thing that clearly didn’t work.
As I’ve talked about in my Historical past Sequence, I spent 2007, 2008, and 2009 not solely monitoring all the things I did however continuously modifying my strategy. I examined new methods. I experimented with stopping sure methods (which generally labored higher than introducing a brand new approach, like after I stopped kissing girls on first dates).
In consequence, I went from a clueless beta male divorced dad to actually good at these things in lower than two years. And at this time, my whole superb lady life is totally on autopilot. I’m at that 5% throttle but flying excessive, for the remainder of my life. That funding in time ten years in the past was properly price it.
So put within the numbers, don’t cease, observe your actions and outcomes, and alter your strategy to continuously enhance the outcomes. After a time frame, you gained’t have to bust your ass anymore, and the ladies will nonetheless come.