My (31F) boyfriend (29M) of 4 months nonetheless maintains a friendship together with his ex, who he dated for five years and lived with. I’ve previous relationship points associated to exes, do I should be upfront and inform him how a lot anxiousness this offers me? : relationships

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I received a lot actually nice suggestions, and I respect it a lot. One factor it confirmed me is that the difficulty of continued contact with exes is a really polarizing topic for most individuals: both you’re completely on board, otherwise you don’t mess with it. After rereading my put up, I really feel foolish for among the insecurity it confirmed, but it surely was trustworthy and I simply wanted some exterior perspective to know the way I felt.

Like most topics, I’m in between. I see the advantages of it, and the explanations it offers folks anxiousness and insecurity, too. I don’t wish to inform individuals who to have contact with or relationships with, and earlier than posting, I did notice that this ex specifically might be accountable in a whole lot of methods for him realizing find out how to love me and be good to me now.

So. We had a dialog in regards to the anxiousness it offers me, and I used to be trustworthy that a whole lot of it’s simply anxiousness and insecurity on my half, however I do have to really feel like I’m a precedence. That generally I simply want some reassurance. I additionally advised him that if she comes into city, I’d love to come back with him and seize a beer. I believe I’ll most likely like her, and I additionally suppose it will change factor from “his ex” to a cool woman I really feel snug with. He was fully on board and stated he would have by no means frolicked 1 on 1 together with her. I believe this subject was an incredible place to set some boundaries (he doesn’t have to name her again instantly when she calls) and so long as we’re each open with one another and hold approaching issues with vulnerability and understanding, we’re golden.

I’m tremendous hopeful about this relationship. I wish to thank each single one who responded, however u/schmeggplant, u/indierockcompilation, and u/the-aleph-and-i stated some issues that basically made me suppose and I really feel like have been extra center of the street responses.

Tl;dr We talked about the way it made me really feel, set boundaries with compassion, and located a compromise that I believe we each be ok with.

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