My bf and i have been collectively for a year and a half. About a year ago, I was sleeping subsequent to my boyfriend in his bed when I awoke to him sleep speaking. He began by moaning the name of yet another lady(23). A lady that we each know. Then he did it a second time. I was wide awake listening to him, in comprehensive shock, my stomach turning. Then he grabbed my hips (I was in small spoon position) thrusted his groin into my behind and mentioned a phrase that nevertheless haunts me. “You make me want to cum *her name”. I woke him up and he was in shock, he genuinely freaked out- he got up and left the space, pretty much cried, buried his head in his hands, got so worked up that I had to calm him down. We sooner or later fell back asleep – I woke up early mainly because I was leaving for a trip. I woke him up to say goodbye and appropriate just before I left (he was nevertheless groggy) he mentioned “I enjoy you *her name” to my face with his eyes open. My heart was broken but I discovered to move previous it. I accepted that it was just a silly dream and at the worst it meant he had a crush on his pal.
Quick forward to now, they operate collectively as musicians (she asked for him to join her band) late nights, occasionally him not coming back till three or four in the morning drunk or higher. They go on trips collectively with the band, quickly they are arranging to go on tour in Europe. I have had to develop so substantially as a individual to not let jealousy consume me alive. I have nurtured a respect for the girl and I have under no circumstances been cold or bitter to her, in reality I actively appear up to her and generally say hello when I see her. I believed that factors had been ultimately fading away but then some thing occurred final evening that has place my complete connection into query.
My bf and I, the girl, and some mutual close friends had been at a bar drinking, obtaining a great time, when my boyfriend accidentally calls me the incorrect name, her name. It wasn’t a major deal, he apologized right away but it stung. Later that evening we ended up at a celebration and I was listening to some close friends play the guitar when my bf walked outdoors. No biggie, he was in all probability out for a cig. I go out to appear for him and hes gone. Who else is gone with him? Of course it is her. When I recognize that they have each left the celebration collectively I want to cry. I want to go property that moment. I was in discomfort but I kept it collectively all through my close friends asking me exactly where they had been. I could have gone walking by way of the neighborhood to obtain them but I chose not to. Hopefully you guys will have an understanding of why. They finish up getting gone for some thing like 30-45 minutes. He comes back, I hug the girl goodbye and we each leave the celebration.
I will not go into detail about the argument that ensued but I told him how upset that it produced me to recognize he was gone with her. How I could not neglect what he had mentioned about her in his sleep, how I felt like he was hiding some thing from me that was coming out in his concious and subconscious speech. He told me that his behavior was no distinct than approaches I have acted with his close friends. He told me that mainly because I laughed when a male pal of ours tickled me that meant that I was attracted to him (I am not.) He told me that no a single understands him and that he was disappointed that I wasn’t the a single who left the celebration to go obtain him. He told me that yes, he did like her “i had under no circumstances met everyone like her, just like I had under no circumstances met an individual like you” We went to sleep subsequent to every single other but we had been worlds apart.
Reddit, I recognize that this discomfort will under no circumstances go away. As extended as they continue to operate collectively I will generally wonder, I will generally evaluate myself to her. I really feel at this point it is only a matter of time just before some thing occurs amongst them. I would under no circumstances ask him to quit his band or sever his connection with her. But I dont know if I can stick by him, it is so painful. He is in complete harm-manage mode, writing me poems, telling me he desires to repair this so badly. I have told him I want some space.
Am I overreacting? Is there some thing I can do? Really should I reduce my losses and move on? I enjoy him so substantially, my heart is hurting. Thank you for reading.
Tldr: my boyfriend admitted in his sleep that he is attracted to yet another lady, they continue to develop closer, i really feel it is only a matter of time just before some thing occurs amongst them, what do I do?