I’ve searched for therefore prolonged to search out out some kind of cognitive tactic to derive the “excellent” solutions to monumental potentialities in my life. I have been completely unsuccessful. The mind is so important for inner consistency and honesty with oneself, however in terms of deciding upon one’s path in life, it appears like all of the ideas simply replicate on 1 particular 1 way more. I really feel that is an occasion of the Buddhist notion of “dependent origination”.
I can under no circumstances significantly know particularly precisely the place my obsession with overanalysis got here from, however I’ve some suggestions. I’m an academically clever particular explicit individual, so in lots of strategies, my mind has been massively beneficial – and lots of entertaining – in my life. I’ve not location ample perform into establishing different components of myself, and, as they are saying, when all you’ve gotten is a hammer, each single single problem looks like a nail.
I assume there’s additionally 1 way more rationalization I’m like this. I used to be introduced up by a terrifying having mentioned that inconsistent mother or father. I used to be generally trying to calculate the plan of action that may be least most likely to complete in punishment, although I used to be seldom productive. On best of this, I used to be introduced up believing in Hell, and that nonetheless haunts me now. I see so lots of glimmers of surprise in life, however it appears like, inside my particular person ideas, they’re simply specks contained in the canvas of be involved and dread. I’ve generally felt just like the stakes are so bigger. Nearly each single possibility feels so loaded. I truthfully commit so considerably of my life in agony.
I’m 22 now. It appears like life has been caught eager about that I used to be about 14. I need to notice to belief, oil my cogs, loosen up. Factors are really quit-and-start for me. Phrases of admire and encouragement could be considerably appreciated