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The secret to healing shame is discovered deep inside shame itself, the final location we’d ever believe to appear. Shame is a misunderstood vessel of self-appreciate, weaved of non-ordinary components and only longing to be infused with your warm awareness, curiosity, and heart.

The secret to healing shame lies in lastly meeting it from the inside. Not meeting some clinical, abstract,practical experience-distant definition of shame, for anything conceptual can’t really be touched, but this really alive, embodied, one of a kind practical experience of shame as it seems imaginally, poetically, aesthetically inside you.

Not yesterday’s or final year’s shame or the shame I had when I was seven, for this shame is as well far away. But this day’s shame, this moment’s shame, which is raw, wild, achy, and untamed, emerging as believed, feeling, and sensation as stress in the head and fluttering in the gut as emptiness and longing as voices in the thoughts, yearning in the heart as pregnant light, water, fire.

Shame has arrived, not to harm, but to mercifully offer you her sacred and misunderstood portal. Take the danger of realizing its one of a kind fragrance, felt sense, moods and pictures touch this sacred location that has been longing for your appreciate for so lengthy. Come close to shame, but not so close that you fall in. Interpenetration, with no enmeshment. Intimacy, with no fusion.

Overlook about ‘healing’ your shame these days! Rather, locate the ashamed one particular, go to the one particular who feels unworthy and broken, invite in the one particular who feels sick and unlovable and bring him out of hiding, lead her out of the darkness and into the light of compassionate awareness. Uncover her in the belly, the chest, the throat flood him with light, curiosity, and care, with this tender awareness that seeks not to ‘fix’ but have an understanding of not to ‘mend’ but embrace not to ‘annihilate’ but soothe and re-parent.

Hold your shame close like a mother holding her valuable kid and ask:

“My appreciate, do you want to be healed these days?”

And listen, listen very carefully, listen from the depths of your soul now listen to his or her timeless response as it emerges out of the thundering silence of meditation:

“Not healed, these days, mother only held.”

~by Matt Licata & Jeff Foster




Befriending Your self – you are invited to join me and my buddy Jeff Foster at our new on the internet membership web-site at the intersection of spirituality, meditation, and depth psychology. Dialogues, teachings, practices, reside meditations, and a moderated assistance neighborhood. 

The subsequent retreat – The Deep Rest Retreat: Slowing Down and Befriending Your self in Complicated Instances – September four-9 at Sunrise Ranch in Loveland, Colorado – registration to open quickly


My subsequent book, A Healing Space: Befriending Your self in Complicated Instances, will be published by Sounds Accurate in 2021. 

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