When we’re sitting with an individual who is struggling, confused, or in emotional discomfort, it is crucial that we listen meticulously to what they say. But at instances even additional vital than the words they use is what they are feeling, sensing, or imagining, but not capable to access consciously. That which we can not access we can not articulate, and that which we can not articulate we can not make sense of. It is hard to uncover the which means of inaccessible knowledge, as this which means is buried in a secret location.
This goes for ourselves as effectively, exactly where the “other” is not only these persons external to us, but the inner other in all its types, appearing as lost feeling, denied grief, unacknowledged narcissism, blocked rage, unearthed joy, causeless bliss, and the entirety of our unlived knowledge.
A single of the actual gifts of our embodied presence—that capacity to attune to the moment-to-moment unfolding the other’s subjectivity—is to assist them access dimensions of self that have either fallen outdoors conscious awareness or under no circumstances had a possibility to come into it in the initially location.
If a particular emotion, way of becoming, or way of perceiving was not produced area for in our households, cultures, or religions, it becomes lost in a faraway space, in a liminal, in-involving realm that we can not rather attain. From this liminal dimension it calls out, comes by way of dream and symptom, to locate us, not to harm but out of its longing to return house.
By delivering sanctuary exactly where none was initially supplied, by generating area for breath exactly where no breath was to be discovered, we step into a planet exactly where it is protected to really feel once more.
The verbal dimension of our exchange with an additional is crucial, when at instances the nonverbal is additional alive, additional relevant, and additional meaningful. We want not come to some fantasied resolution or requires sides, but only to stay in awe.
To give an atmosphere exactly where the lost pieces of the soul, the forgotten elements of the heart, and the unremembered dimensions of the psyche can return home… it is a present of compassion and mercy that we can impart to ourselves, one particular an additional, and to life everywhere.
To weave this sort of temple collectively, to have a tendency to and care for this alive inner sanctuary exactly where wholeness can be embodied and reimagined, exactly where we can touch the mystery and recognize there is no finish to its depth.
The subsequent book, A Healing Space: Befriending Oneself in Hard Instances, will be published by Sounds True