My tldr is at the bottom.
My husband (45M) and I (35F) have been with each other for 10 years. We have two youngsters, an eight year old and a 9 month old. My husband was a incredibly good husband just before I was pregnant and for the duration of my second pregnancy. Soon after our second infant was born he began becoming incredibly imply to me. He has constantly been a bit selfish, but it was constantly one thing I could manage just before.
He tries to ruin items I have planned. As an instance, I was going to take my dad to an occasion and my husband calls me and tells me he is going to be two hours late to watch the children due to the fact he has to go purchasing. Then he tries to push me to be mad at him. He will say, does this upset you? Are you acquiring mad? Then he will act like I’m the crazy individual when I do get upset with him.
He tends to make enjoyable of my hobbies or puts down and activity I do. I basically took up operating due to the fact he likes it and it was one thing I could do with out him producing enjoyable of me. We planned to go on a run with each other and I set up a babysitter for an hour. I was waiting for him to show up and he never ever did. When I asked him what he was undertaking he mentioned he was operating. So he left me hanging whilst he nonetheless got to take pleasure in the activity. This also wasted a valuable hour of babysitting time.
He is also unnecessarily cruel. I went on a 4 day trip with our two children. He stayed at property due to the fact he had to operate. When I came property he told me that possibly he could choose me up from the airport but possibly not. I told him it is fine I will take a cab. But even up till I got on my plane ride he was telling me if he was cost-free he would be at the airport but there was no assure. Then immediately after I got property he instantly began lecturing me on spending revenue on our older son. Which, immediately after a 4 day trip of taking care of two children (1 becoming a infant) I was just exhausted and didn’t want to be lectured the second I walked by means of the door. So I just told him I agree with you and I’m sorry. But he just kept going and going.
Other examples of him becoming cruel are him telling a loved ones member that I cannot manage the infant by myself. pouring a pop down the sink that I gave him saying he does not want that pop and then grabbing the precise similar brand of pop out of the fridge to drink.
I could go on but I consider these may possibly be sufficient examples. Like I pointed out earlier, these behaviours have been taking place immediately after our second infant was born. As items occur I do generally get in touch with him out on the spot, but he generally gaslights me in the moment and we get nowhere. He desires to go to couples therapy or just individual therapy for himself (his concept). But I’m honestly questioning is it worth it? I would choose not to divorce but I’m honestly questioning if we could save this marriage or should really I just stroll away?
Tldr: husband has been treating me incredibly badly for various months. He desires to go to couples therapy but I really feel like the harm is accomplished. How do I proceed?