Throwaway, some information changed for anonymity. This is a ridiculous predicament and I’m hoping some of you can deliver me with point of view that I could be missing.
I’ve been buddies with Stella for pretty much 15 years. I dated her younger brother initially, then met her. He passed away a decade ago and she has struggled a lot with this but has in no way sought out any assist. She was generally the entertaining, goofy, airheaded, buddy that in no way took something seriously. She has been obsessed with celebrities & pop culture considering the fact that birth. She idolizes Drew Barrymore & has attempted to copy her life & appear for years now. She cares a lot about material factors and upholding the image she has of herself. For instance, her auto is falling apart to the point she’s embarrassed to be noticed in it, but as an alternative of having a new one particular she just purchased herself a pair of Gucci slippers (that she thinks is ugly) bc she not too long ago saw one particular of her favourite celebrities wearing them. That is just Stella.
A handful of years ago, Stella found a extremely common British boy band. Overnight she became fully obsessed. Every little thing revolved about this band. We all laughed at initially bc she was in no way the boy band sort of gal she was generally as well ‘hip’ for that. Throughout their final tour, her husband managed to get them tickets one particular state away. Just after the show they waited about outdoors the tour bus for hours and the band in no way showed. Stella had a breakdown and cried all evening bc she didn’t get a opportunity to see her favourite member of the band following the show. She cried in the course of the whole five-hour drive household and right away went on line and purchased a ticket (just for her, not her husband) to their subsequent show two states south, got back in her auto & drove 13 hours by herself to their subsequent show.
Just after the band broke up & her favourite member went solo, anything then started to revolve about him. She has spent thousands of dollars going about the nation to see his shows. She has spent thousands of dollars on merchandise & decorated her whole home with memorabilia, like a life-sized cardboard cutout of him she keeps in the living space. She has even brought the cutout to dinner with buddies & brought him to her birthday celebration. She thinks it is ‘tee hee so quirky!’ Her party’s hashtags had been all #30flirtyandthriving. She’s 43. A handful of individuals attempted to speak to her about her behavior & she reduce them off bc she believed they had been implying they’re ‘too cool’ for her. And the age factor? Every person was like WTF? Honestly, at our age, no one particular cares about stuff like that any longer. It is the obsession that is worrying individuals & the reality she’s living in a fantasy planet now. It is gotten to the point that her complete life revolves about this celebrity and she can’t have a conversation with any one without the need of the conversation getting turned back to this celebrity. She talks about him like they’re seriously buddies. Individuals prevent her. She created buddies with a 22 y/o she performs with & now spends each no cost moment out drinking with this girl. She also befriended a mutual friend’s 20 y/o niece & has invited her (& paid) to go to these shows bc no one particular else will. Mutual buddy does not like this & thinks it is weird but has only told her to be cautious with his niece and not get her in problems.
Not too long ago, this behavior started to put on on me. Not just this, but the way she talks about crush & other celebrity crushes. She’s generally had to have a person to crush on, ordinarily her small brother’s buddies. She has been sending me non-quit social media images, songs, memes, what ever about this guy and her crushes. The factor is even though, these are all reallllyyyy young guys, or they appear young. She jokes about herself getting a pedophile and how her crushes appear 12 or 14. She not too long ago told me she was bored with her husband and was considering about ‘finding a young hottie to make out with’. She went on Tinder &set her age preference 18-24 and told her husband. He got mad and created her delete it but she’s on it once again and he does not know. I gently attempted to inform her I believed it was weird and created me uncomfortable, (esp to have pics on my telephone from her of a kid that appears like he hasn’t gone by means of puberty saying yeah, I’m a pedo & he appears 12 but he’s a yummy 12!) but she just laughed. I began ignoring the messages bc I didn’t know what to say. I am NOT a fan of this particular person at all. I am pretty much 40 & obtaining continual conversations about this guy just weirds me out. She noticed I stopped responding to her and asked me what was incorrect, so I told her that I felt unheard when we talked bc each conversation we have is about this celebrity and she ignores a lot of what I say to preserve speaking about him and ‘it’s a bit significantly sometimes’. Major error.
Stella responded by weaponizing anything I had told her in self-assurance more than the final year against me. I lost my father and grandfather final year & told her I was struggling & lonely and that it sucks getting an adult without the need of the friendships I had when I was younger bc we all grew apart. I also know I haven’t been the most effective buddy bc of my grief. She threw all of that in my face and generally threatened me not to make her mad bc she’s one particular of my only buddies. She referred to as me overly sensitive and accused me of overreacting. I was so shocked. Her messages to me had been straight up hateful and exceptionally disproportionate to what I stated. I was so hurt that she would respond like this. I’ve in no way noticed that side of her just before. She reduce me out of her life and stated that I am as well swift to reduce individuals out of my life and I would regret it. I in no way stated something about cutting any one out of my life.
It is been a handful of weeks considering the fact that and she’s began attempting to attain out a small and I do not know what to do. I do not want to throw away such a lengthy friendship, but I consider it is broken at this point. I do not really feel what I stated was incorrect. A mutual buddy of ours told me I should really have just kept quiet and let her speak about her fake boyfriend since it tends to make her delighted and ‘we all know how she is’. An additional just laughed like yeah that is Stella. She’ll get more than it. Get more than what? I really feel like she flipped out bc I was so close to saying one thing to her about the age of this guy, and her other crushes, and she attacked just before I could get the opportunity. I do not consider she’s a pedophile. But. There is one thing there that in my gut I know is incorrect. I just do not know how to place it in words, or even if I should really bring it up.
So, Reddit, this is a ridiculous fight, but I want to know if any one is seeing the red flags I’m seeing. Is it a stupid fight bc I hurt her feelings or is there one thing else causing her to lash out? I honestly cannot inform. Sorry this is a mess but I can deliver any other information if required. I’m just weirded out.
TL:DR My girl friend’s acting like a pedo, I gently referred to as her out, she freaked.