What Must a Pastor’s Wife Be Like?


You may well be shocked to know that your pastor’s wife is a great deal like you. She is not a celebrity or a super-Christian, but like you, she desires to be a faithful follower of the Lord Jesus Christ. That signifies her God-offered priority is to minister to her husband and the youngsters God has offered her. That is a major job, as all the other girls in the church comprehend. Like them, she is known as to make her home (Proverbs 14:1) and to supply a joyful oasis for her family members. Hers is not the unique calling of the pastor’s wife, but of all Christian wives.

I in no way aspired to be “a pastor’s wife,” but I most undoubtedly did wish to be Doug’s wife. When we got married, I didn’t know precisely exactly where he was going, but I knew that I wanted to go as well. So later, when he was known as to be a pastor, it was apparent that I was known as to be a pastor’s wife. At that time, I was pretty clear on my wifely duties, but as to what my becoming a pastor’s wife may well entail, I had small clue. But that was 4 decades ago.

What Must She Be?

Just like each and every vintage of wine is special to its personal distinct area, climate, altitude, and soil, so each and every church neighborhood has a special character and history. And there’s no obtaining about the truth that the pastor has a major influence on the flavor of the congregation. The aim is for the church to have the aroma of Christ (Ephesians five:two), to smell and taste like the Glad News of the gospel (Psalm 34:eight).

“You may well be shocked to know that your pastor’s wife is a great deal like you.”

The pastor’s wife and youngsters will undoubtedly contribute (for excellent or ill) to his general influence on the church. Our youngsters grew up possessing a higher view of their dad’s calling, and they also knew that they had been his central qualification for the ministry. If they had been wild and disobedient, he would not be match to be a pastor. How could he lead a congregation if he couldn’t even lead his personal youngsters (1 Timothy three:4–5 Titus 1:six)? This produced them really feel particularly central in his life and calling. They had been not brushed aside whilst he was carrying out “important” factors. They knew that they had been his principal “important” factors. And now that they are adults, they nevertheless love this station.

So as well, the pastor’s wife knows that the well being of their marriage is a further central aspect to his qualification for leadership. I know that if I am not carrying out effectively, my husband is handicapped. This is not a trivial factor, but a godly stress to stroll faithfully. Paul lays out qualifications for wives of church officers (1 Timothy three:11), and I think the commands to older girls in Titus two:3–5, although applying to all older girls, most undoubtedly apply to the minister’s wife, no matter what her age.

Even though the pastor’s wife shares the exact same wifely duties as all the married girls in her congregation (see Ephesians five:22–24, 33 Colossians three:18, 1 Peter three:1–6), her ministry to her husband is of course connected to his distinct calling as a minister. A wife is known as to be her husband’s helper (Genesis two:18), so his distinct calling will demand distinct aid.

Helper in the Mission

What type of unique aid does he will need? His wife has a close-up view, so she can pray especially for his responsibilities, temptations, and challenges. Often she might be known as in to aid him with pastoral counseling. She knows these duties are privileges that come with becoming his co-laborer and co-soldier (Philippians two:25). Significantly of this service will be behind the scenes, but some of it will be visible to the congregation.

“The pastor’s wife is not a conduit for the congregation to send ideas or criticisms to the pastor.”

The minister’s wife is not a church officer, but rather, as a congregant, she desires to serve the church as a faithful member, alongside the other girls in the church. This signifies she desires to participate in, but not necessarily organize the church’s social events. She rejoices to see other girls applying their gifts and capabilities to make up the physique for the reason that this is the sign of a healthful church physique.

The pastor’s wife is not a conduit for the congregation to send messages, ideas, or criticisms to the pastor. He is her husband, but he is also her pastor. She rewards from his teaching and preaching like the other members of the congregation. She is not accountable for the choices her husband or the board of elders tends to make. So, when an individual in the congregation objects to a selection and tells the pastor’s wife, she will point them in the correct path to register their opinion. In other words, she is not the complaint box.

Treat Her Like a Sister

I bear in mind pondering that becoming my husband’s co-laborer was absolutely much more attractive to me than becoming his co-soldier. I wasn’t confident I wanted to be in the line of fire. But a minister’s wife can not opt out of what God calls her to do. Trusting him and following him is in no way assured to be uncomplicated or comfy, but he has promised that he will in no way leave us or forsake us. I consider as the pastor’s wife, I have had tremendous benefits. He is out there to me for counsel, for teaching, for hundreds of concerns more than the years. He is my pastor as effectively as the congregation’s, and I advantage the most from his ministry. What a joy and blessing that has been!

“The minister’s wife, it turns out, is your sister in Christ.”

The minister’s wife does not demand your sympathy for the hardships that come with her calling. Every single calling comes with hardships. She serves the Lord gladly at her post, and even in trials, she rejoices that God has known as her to serve the church alongside her husband. But she does will need and appreciate your prayers and your help. She enjoys friendships in the congregation that are centered on Christ and not centered on her position or her husband’s position. She does not want the congregation to hold her at arm’s length or be intimidated by her. She desires to love the fellowship and communion we have in Christ. The minister’s wife, it turns out, is your sister in Christ, striving to be fruitful and faithful in him, just as you are.


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