What If Tears Do not Come? How to Weep with These Who Weep


God commands us to cry.

It is not my preferred command either. But, even though God’s command in Romans 12:15 to “weep with these who weep” is fairly clear, several of us are not extremely excellent at it. We struggle simply because grief tends to make us uncomfortable. Or we really feel we shouldn’t grieve if God is sovereign. Or we be concerned that weeping with other people will encourage them to keep mired in bitterness. Or we basically do not have the 1st clue how to enter an individual else’s emotional planet. Or all of the above.

If you can relate, I have excellent news. The uncomplicated truth that we are image-bearers of the God who enters our discomfort tends to make a massive distinction in heeding God’s get in touch with to enter others’ suffering. Let me unpack why.

God Grieves

We start by reflecting on what God has performed for us. The incarnation of Christ is a glorious mystery — God himself came into our planet, our practical experience, our extremely flesh. He chose to be a man of sorrows, familiar with suffering, not just in physique but in spirit (John 11:32–36). He was tempted in each and every way as we are. He knew the valley of the shadow of death, the Father turning his face away.

“We frequently stumble simply because we are additional anxious to repair individuals than to adore them.”

In brief, in adore for us, he entered into the depths of our practical experience.

This getting into and identifying with us did not finish at his death or resurrection although. In truth, simply because of the presence of his Spirit in us, he is now additional connected to us than ever, even to the point of seeing attacks against us as attacks against himself (Acts 9:1–5). How strange that Jesus not only rejoices with our triumphs of faith but weeps with us in our weaknesses and wounds!

Love’s 1st step in getting into others’ sorrows is basically to appreciate the breathtaking option Christ produced to enter ours.

Enter Another’s Planet

I discover, nonetheless, that even when we see this, we nevertheless frequently stumble simply because we are additional anxious to repair individuals than to adore them. An old ministry proverb, which I considerably appreciate, says that individuals “don’t care how substantially you know till they know how substantially you care,” or that you have to “build the bridge of partnership ahead of you drive across the truck of truth.” Although this wisely identifies our require to demonstrate tenderness and genuine compassion ahead of expecting individuals to listen to our counsel, it misses that displaying an individual you care or constructing a relational bridge is not merely preparation for the “good stuff” that will come when you ultimately unload truth on them.

Getting into, caring, and displaying compassion currently are the excellent stuff. Coming alongside hurting individuals to basically sit with them in their discomfort is the excellent stuff. Getting into a further person’s planet is a type of ministry, even ahead of you have stated a word.

Is This Challenging for You?

But what if I discover all this convincing, however when the rubber hits the road, I discover myself unable to weep with these who weep?

Very first, Romans 12:15 is not written to a subset of Christians who are excellent at empathy. It is written to all of us. This implies we can all confidently count on our Lord to answer our pleas for development in this location. His support is not restricted to the touchy-feely individuals in our congregations. So ask him boldly for support.

“The 1st step in getting into others’ sorrows is to appreciate the breathtaking option Christ produced to enter ours.”

Second, you can not devote as well substantially time considering about distinct methods Christ has performed this for you. He knows all the things about you — in which tender, raw, fragile, uncomfortable locations has he loved you? Don’t forget, he does not hold you at arm’s length simply because of your hurts, but rather, they arouse his private, distinct compassion and affection for you.

Third, practice placing oneself in other people’s footwear. By this I do not imply searching at someone’s predicament and saying, “I’d in no way have myself in this mess. You produced your bed, so forgive me if I inform you to lie in it.” Rather, attempt asking oneself, “What if I saw this as absolutely overwhelming and devastating to my significant hopes in life?” Although you may well deal with a strained partnership, a fender bender, or a considerable upcoming surgery with equanimity, other people could practical experience these items as a catastrophe.

Portion of compassion is sympathizing with other people even when you see their crisis as a minor inconvenience or have a prepared remedy to their difficulties. Following all, Jesus wept at the tomb of Lazarus in adore for his buddy, and for Mary and Martha, even although he was about to raise him from the dead and “fix” the trouble in the subsequent ten minutes. Solving people’s difficulties is not incorrect, but compassion 1st enters their planet, rather than dragging them into yours.

Does Compassion Overwhelm You?

Occasionally our trouble is not that the difficulties of other people appear as well petty, but that they are as well overwhelming to us. What then?

Very first, becoming overwhelmed and undone by the sufferings of a further particular person or group is not necessarily terrible. Ezra was shocked and horrified by the sin of the individuals following God brought them back from exile. Jeremiah was devastated by each the faithlessness and the destruction of his countrymen. David, Job, and Jacob sat in ashes and mourning when they heard news that loved ones had been slain. It is okay to be flattened by a broken planet.

“It’s genuinely quick to step into the location of the Messiah without the need of realizing it.”

Second, nonetheless, a warning: it is genuinely quick to step into the location of the Messiah without the need of realizing it. Far as well frequently a excellent need to care for other people drives us to functionally usurp Christ’s part as Keeper and Savior. We can really feel as if others’ fates rest in our hands — that they stand or fall primarily based on our support. As a outcome, the most prevalent purpose we get overwhelmed by others’ difficulties is that we are attempting to personal their responsibilities and burdens as our personal.

Although we could be correct to care deeply about their predicament — spiritual, physical, emotional, relational — we are cost-free to leave their lives in God’s hands. Our get in touch with is basically to adore them faithfully, acknowledging exactly where life is painful and broken, grieving losses with these we adore, and letting the course of action leave us all the hungrier for a coming day of unfiltered righteousness and healing.

Weep with God

Just as we are commanded to weep with God’s individuals, so we are commanded to weep with him. God provides us grief in order that we could share his heart for his individuals, his kingdom, and his glory. To worship him is to ever increasingly delight in what he delights in and also to grieve more than what grieves him. So be encouraged even your most uncomfortable feelings — and these of the ones you adore — are your likelihood to stroll additional closely with the Shepherd of your soul.


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